Monday, August 7, 2023
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I don’t want to be on this website writing about how I feel but there’s only so much you can say to the wind before you realize it’s not enough. I miss my mom more than I can even comprehend and I know no matter how much I say it she’ll never be here to hear me but that’s life. I wish she met her second grandchild but I’m thankful she knew her first. I wish that I could show her that I’m not a piece of shit and I know now that family is all we have and I wish that I could be the glue that she was to this family but I’m too far gone. I wish I could have cherished her the way I do now and I wish I could burn everything down so that I wouldn’t have a reason to feel his way. MOM I MISS YOU AND ALL I WANT IS TO BE THE SON YOU WANTED ME TO BE AND FOR YOU TO BE HERE TO SEE ME DO IT. I WANT TO RAISE MY SON THE WAY YOU RAISED ME AND I WANT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING WITHIN SIGHT UNTIL THAT CLOCK TURNS BACK BUT I CANT AND IT WONT. I only realize how good I am at burying my feelings until times like this when it spills out but I guess that a good thing.
